I don’t remember the exact age at which I started to hate my body. I’m assuming it was around the time I started puberty. I developed and grew so quickly that my skin couldn’t keep up and stretch marks formed all over my body. I would spend so much time in the mirror looking at these marks and crying because in my head, they were bad. Where did I get that from? Who told me that stretch marks were bad? Who told me that being bigger than my classmates was bad? Who told me that fatness was bad? Was it the time my dad said that the reason I was fat was because I didn’t eat vegetables. Mind you, this was in front of guests and I did in fact eat vegetables. Who told him that fatness was bad?
Turns out, fat phobia is so deeply rooted in our culture that there isn’t really a way to concisely answer those questions. “Fearing the Black Body: The Racial Origins of Fat Phobia,” by Sabrina Strings really opened my eyes to the interconnectedness of so many of my passing thoughts about existing in my own body. That book documented so much of what I felt and saw but couldn’t articulate myself. Reading about the ways in which anti-black racism and fat phobia are so intertwined was so incredibly mind-blowing. Additionally, I was able to see how religion played a part as well. I was nally able to understand the obsession with thinness through a well researched lens. Turns out, like a lot of things, we can directly link fat phobia to white supremacy and racism. I personally refuse to allow white supremacy to make me hate myself.
I’ve put in a lot of self-work to see my body in a more neutral way. Yes, there are times where old negative thoughts sneak back in. All I can do is remind myself that that is bullshit and not the space that I should be in. This collection of work is a way of documenting this journey and celebrating the body that I get to exist in. This body has put me through a lot but I am still here and able to live the life that I always dreamed of.
I want people to walk away from this show with a similar mindset. I want people to think about the ways in which they view their own bodies as well as the people around them. It is well established that people with bigger bodies are treated more harshly or even ignored. Whether that is having a harder time meeting or interacting with people, having less upward mobility in jobs, or even being victims of medical negligence. The ways in which fat people are seen or treated is questionable at best.
I no longer want to hear people talk so negatively about themselves. If I hear one more person remark that they earned a meal or held o on eating all day so that they could enjoy their dinner out, I might scream. I’m not deluded into thinking that this show is going to change the world but I do hope it makes a few people pause and think about their words before saying an out t isn’t attering or even remarking on the body of someone else. -Marian Bailey
Your Body is Enough
is a collection of drawings of people with interesting elements incorporated.
A collection of patterned pieces. The first one is an acrylic painting and the rest were drawn digitally.
